So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
there is glitter all over my balls
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
