Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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