I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
