We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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