he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
