great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
