While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
