when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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