babies were throwing up all over the place
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
