I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We just shotgunned beers for America
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
