I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
