I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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