actually, I'm a sock model
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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