Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
