I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
