Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
