You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
