He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
