I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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