I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
