You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
