I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
