i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
