You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
