At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
