So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
