Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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