This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My dad just said "fuck circus"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
