I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
