we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
