I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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