physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I wish you could order shots online.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
