come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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