we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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