Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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