when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
