in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
