UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
so much tequila, so little girl.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
