There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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