That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
