she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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