Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
