I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
