So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
