We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
