My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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