How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
