omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Randomize
