I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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