My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Even my vagina gasped.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
