I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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