mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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